Last night was a blast and Thaddeus (my dolphin puppet) got into some shenanigans.
Tonight I will be going to a haunted corn maze with some of my friends in roller derby, so in honor of that I have decided to review the movie Children of the Corn.
Released in 1984 this movie was directed by Fritz Kiersch and stars Linda Hamilton, and:
John Franklin as Issac (who really was the creepiest little fucker in this movie)
Courtney Gains as Maaaaaaaaliachi -- This guy was equally creepy but mainly because he is a day walker named Courtney, poor kid, must have been hell going through high school.
Now I am not the biggest fan of children, so already this movie is terrifying. Although let's be honest Issac is the creepiest creeper because he looked like such an old man -- granted he was 25 when this movie was released.
The music in this movie is pretty great for being that 80's-creepy-horror-movie-music-that-must-always-use-synthesizers.
There are two great 'quotes' you can take from this that I will be sure to use tonight at the corn maze and they are:
Maalllllllllllllachi! and "Outlander!"
I was going to post videos on how these two are said because it's all in the inflection of the voice; but they are spoiler alerts so you will just need to hop over to Netflix and watch the movie -- or if you're super lazy go over to Youtube and type in Children of the Corn 1984 Malachi.
All of the sequls are on Netflix, there are 8 of them, and there was also a remake made in 2011 but I have yet to see it. This movie is a lot like the other 1970s/80s Stephen King books made into movies -- it's okay but in that weird-kind-of-cheesy-even-though-its-not-trying-to-be sort of way.
IMDB rates this a 5.4 out of 10 stars and Rotten Tomatoes gives it 39% with a 48% audience approval. I am giving this 2 out of 5 skulls it's grate for the creep factor but I was left wanting to punch all these kids in the face and tell them to respect their elders. Oh well.
Sleep tight and don't let the zombies bite,